The time has finally arrived for me to leave Germany. Tomorrow, I get on a plane with my Emma and head home to a new life. I am struggling to decide who I want to be when I arrive there. I have an opportunity to redefine myself, therefore redefining acceptable ways for people to treat me. If I go back the way I was when I left, then nothing will have changed. Despite the enlisted to officer change, there will be no respect gained. It's imperative that I maintain my professionalism a...

SO, I'm freaking out. I don't know for sure what day I am leaving Germany because the military won't let me schedule my flight yet. As a matter of fact, I had to give them a ten day window so they can try and schedule me on whatever they want during that time. I had planned on leaving on the 12th of March, but who knows now. I still have so much to do. I'm finishing up a Master's class that I'll be lucky as hell to get a B in because my pseudo husband decided to go to Afghanistan for 2 1...

My soon to be "not my husband" is supposed to leave today for two glorious weeks. TWO WEEKS! That's two weeks of a clean house, no yelling, no arguing, no tons of laundry (cuz he's worse than a woman), no shitty guilt inspiring nasty comments, no glued to the computer or playstation, no everything. Oh, privacy, I adore you. How does a marriage come to this end? My feelings are just one of the many indicators that this marriage truly is over. I don't even care that he's going into a ...

As a militay member, I am currently stationed in Germany. I've been here for almost a year and a half now. I've been back to the States twice since I've been here, but never for long. So, in case you were wondering what someone misses when they are overseas, I've compiled my own list: Olive Garden, outlet shopping, my money being worth more than 74 Euro cent, stores being open on Sundays, high end malls like Fashion Island or South Coast Plaza, my mom, clean playgrounds for my daughter ...

The New Year has begun, and with it, I have started anew. My soon to be divorced husband saw an email to my sister saying that I would probably be home in April. He sat and brooded on this information he stole from my hotmail account which I thought he didn't have access to for several days until it exploded New Years Eve. I told him yes, I was ready to leave this life. There were lots of harsh words said and the frequent verbal abuse I sustain hit me again. He went on and on about how h...

SO, with my marriage slowly rolling to the jagged end of a cliff, I took my wedding ring off. I had'nt planned on it because I don't want to get hit on, but, he said he was taking his off once we returned to Deutschland, so I did too. Of course, his mind has changed and it's been this daily nagging about, "When are you going to put your ring back on?" Well figure it out genius, I'm not! I had my four thousand dollar shackle in a box on a bookshelf. Not because it didn't mean anything ...

Alright, hum along with the tune..... Should I stay or should I go now? If I go there will be trouble! If I stay there will be double! So you got to let me know.................. Should I stay or should I go now? This indecisions killing me. If you don't love me set me free....... So that's where I am today. This morning, he unemotionally asked me to make a decision on whether I am leaving or not. That the confusion is painful. Well, I agree because I'm feeling it to. I'm ...

Freedom has such a bitter taste on days when you don't want it. From day to day my mind does gymnastics around this concept of divorce. I don't want to be divorced. I don't want to be a divorcee. I don't want to have to check that box that screams, yes, I'm a failure at marriage for all the clerks of the world to see and pass judgement on. This is only one side of how I feel though. I also can't wait to just be Faith the person, instead of Faith the wife. I will forever be Emma's mom a...

So, here I am on my first blog. Shall I be witty, angry, clever, upset? Dare I say happy? No, I dare not....be. Life right now is such a reach. Down, down into some recylable paper cup where little straws taunt me. Pick me! Pick me! You insane momma! Well, I'd truly love to select one, but I'm terrified of the results. I stand at the brink of divorce after only two years. I stand, with a two year old wonder I call Emma grasping my hand and looking up at me with no clue of her fate. It...